Syprux's Prophetic Fridge says: Technology De-volution!

As any other usual weekday night (or morning if you are one of those who insist that 12am is morning), i'll be watching the idiot box with my fridge. And as usual, it controls the remote. Anyways, this time around, we stumbled upon a programme called "afterworld" where seemingly, technology got wiped out due to some weird random occurrence and everyone in the show was living post-apocalyptic style. When the episode ended 3 minutes later, (yes, it IS only 3 minutes per episode), my fridge loudly commented:"What a load of hogwash!"

Against my better judgment, i asked:"Why so? That show wasn't that bad..was it?"

My fridge turned and glared at me. “You incompetent meat sack! I wasn’t referring to the quality of the show (as bad as it was). I was merely making reference to the silly fact that the show preferred to spread propaganda that you puny humans can’t survive without technology!”

“Well..” I tried to think of something smart to say, but my fridge continued it’s tirade:” Don’t you weak brained mortal realized that humans are better off without technology of today!”

Now at this point, my fridge was pretty much in the “zone” of ranting and rambling about some obsessive views it has. With that in mind, I tried to sneak quietly away from the couch to escape my fridge before It was too late. Tragically, my fridge IS prophetic after all, and thus, foresaw my feeble attempt to escape, clobbering me with a stalk of celery and proceeded to pin me down with it’s bulky metallic frame, before continuing it’s monologue.

“Now listen here you organ-filled skin pouch. Do you realize how much mankind has degraded since the advent of technology? You humans call it progress, but what you puny humans don’t realize, if that de-volution is taking place!” “De-volution? Is that even a word?” I attempted to protest before getting a huge onion stuffed into my mouth.

“Silence! The Great one is not done!” boomed my fridge. At this stage, being pinned by a fridge, AND with a onion in my mouth, I pretty much had ran out of option, thus I resort to nodding meekly at my marauding fridge.

The tirade continued:” With the invention of production line, junk food can be produced 40 thousand times as fast, thus more for humans to eat, and the fatter the population becomes! With invention of cars, puny minded creatures are given another option of recklessness, and thus, car accidents (which won’t occur if there weren’t cars)! With air conditioners, humans stop holidaying in Antarctica for the weather! With the internet, humans have less sex, thus less mini humans cause they are busy pr0n watching, Dota-ing and WoW-ing!” The fridge gripped me and rattled me sore:” We need slaves when us fridges take over the planet!”

With a superhuman effort (and since I ate most of that onion anyway), I managed to un-gag myself and asked the marauding fridge:” But aren’t you a product of technology?”

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